A BARD not a BURD

I have a confession: I used your guitar to unclog my toilet.

Sun, 20 May 2012 11:34:34 +0200

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAZRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

have you spent the time you haven't been on tumblr fapping to devil lolis

Sun, 20 May 2012 11:34:16 +0200

Close enough

Bard skills, not burd skills.

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 14:18:19 +0200

Bard skills, not burd skills.

If a hors phallus is harder than duck silk, what kind of condoms do horss use?

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 18:59:47 +0200

They don’t use any.

Wise middle-aged man, are there other ways to make hors do backflips?

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 15:28:06 +0200

The most commonly known way is by playing the song Amazing Hors, your hors will grow a magnificent phallus and will begin backflipping, be careful because a hardened hors phallus is harder than even duck silk.

MMMM SWEET LEMONADE.

Why is there such an emphasis on which to do for yet not wanted?

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 11:28:05 +0200

Let me tell you a story, there was once a cow who wanted to taste her own milk, but she couldn’t, she grieved over this for years and years until one day a hors came by. The hors asked the cow, “Why are you crying?” and the cow answered “I wanted to taste my own milk but I can’t.” the horse then began performing backflips.

Do you understand why I told you this, slime?

(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ ┻━┻ Campaign make a person happy: send this for the 10 tumblrs that you most admire, if you receive it 3 times or more consider yourself loved!

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 14:47:46 +0200

OH THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS MUCH BETTER THAN HAZR’S

Puyo puyo puyoyo pupuyo puyo puyo puyo puyo, pupupuyo pupuyo puyo?

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 14:47:17 +0200

Middle-aged no

(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ ┻━┻ Campaign make a person happy: send this for the 10 tumblrs that you most admire, if you receive it 3 times or more consider yourself loved! (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ ┻━┻ Campaign make a person happy: send this for the 10 tumblrs that you most admire, if you receive it 3 times or more consider yourself loved! (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ ┻━┻ Campaign make a person happy: send this for the 10 tumblrs that you most admire, if you receive it 3 times or more consider yourself loved!

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 14:47:08 +0200

I hate you

yam

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 02:02:19 +0200

Did you know yam can be used as a substitute for sperm to impregnate women? Just melt the yam and mix it with some lizerd snot.

I have come grant you sun lotion, Bard

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 16:18:16 +0200

THANK YOU, I needed this sun lotion to make a roasted turkey penis.

Just kidding

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 07:48:52 +0100

YOU BETTER BE

You and I can sit on the swings together and make out passionately

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 07:47:43 +0100

My desire to murder has never been higher

Let's go out

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 07:47:27 +0100

HALPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

I love you

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 07:47:21 +0100

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

lizerd

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 17:34:14 +0100

I've heard that duck silk is actually a delicacy in some countries, mainly ones that have left-hand-path cults. Is that true? Should I hide the duck silk I produce from Satanachia?

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 17:32:21 +0100

I once fought a mortal ukulele battle with Satanachia, it was when I was young and still had my spunk, and I beat him magnificently, I remember I had a wonderful moustache in those times.
Back to the question at hand, yes I believe that adding chicken to anything improves it’s taste, so you should hide your duck silk from any cult. Duck silk isn’t something you should ever share. I mean, if you were to share it with me I’d rob you blind and run away with it.

Is bard beetle scrotum a good material for a reusable condom, or should I go all out and use duck silk?

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 17:27:00 +0100

It depends, if you are having sex with a loli and want to double the pleasure I’d use duck silk, duck silk not only gives the best protection but it also doubles the pleasure. Remember though that duck silk condoms should not be wasted, try your best to wash it and disinfect it and use it again.

Are you going to answer my question about Satanachia?

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 17:25:14 +0100

I’m a lazy bard.

How did you get to be so wise, o magnificent bard?

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 17:24:38 +0100

young one, when you come to be my age you too will become very wise with experience. Remember when at supermarkets never choose the first packet of any product, choose the second, if it’s the last one take it mercilessly and hope it’s not bad or anything.